Welcome to our puntastic page of bad taste jokes

Fancy a cheeky chuckle and a chance to win free toilet rolls and a peachy 10% discount? Find out how…

Our Sweet Cheeks connoisseurs keep sending us some very tongue-in-cheek jokes. We’ve posted the best below! Read them, get a whiff of our silly sense of humour, and send us your best toilet gag via the form at the bottom (get it?).

If we publish your joke, we’ll send you a 10% discount code, and a free pack of 3 ply toilet roll!

We only ask you to wipe your bums, not the smiles off our faces…

Michelle Lewis

Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo!

Toilet Kiss 1

Colin Wilson

Why was Eeyore down the toilet?
Because he was looking for Pooh!

loo roll

Ruby Bailey

My friend has decided to rename his toilet “Jim” instead of “John”.

When I asked him why, he told me that “It sounds much better when I tell people that I go to the Jim every day.”


Vanessa Cook

I ingested a load of Scrabble tiles by mistake…
Now I’m worried that my next trip to the toilet will spell disaster!


Jonty Woods

Why doesn’t a pterodactyl make any noise when it goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

Toilet Paper and Cat

Richie Headman

In Star Trek, what did the toilet in the Enterprise space ship have inside it?

The captain’s log.

Dog reading a newspaper

Adam Shelley

What happens when sweet cheeks toilet paper crosses the road?
It gets stuck in the crack…

Loo Roll as Eyes on a Toilet Seat

Hayleigh Campbell

What do you call a dog in your toilet?

A poodle.

Household Happy With Toilet Roll

Judy Heath

Why are romantic relationships a lot like Indian food?

They always start out hot and spicy, but end up with someone on the toilet crying and asking “Why me?”

Dog looking through toilet paper tube

Wayne Reeder

What did the mother say to her little boy when he missed the toilet while peeing?

“Urine trouble, young man!”

Toilet Roll in a Rainforest

Summer Pearce

There are two reasons you shouldn’t drink from the toilet: number 1, and number 2…

Toilet Kiss 1

John Colehill

Did you hear about the film ‘Constipated’?
It never came out!

Toilet Roll in Woods

💩 Got an absolute stinker of a loo pun? Drop it in here and let's have a laugh together! 🚽😂