Toilet Humour

Welcome to our puntastic page of bad taste jokes

Fancy a cheeky chuckle and a chance to win free toilet rolls and a peachy 10% discount? Find out how…

Our Sweet Cheeks connoisseurs keep sending us some very tongue-in-cheek jokes. We’ve posted the best below! Read them, get a whiff of our silly sense of humour, and send us your best toilet gag via the form at the bottom (get it?).

If we publish your joke, we’ll send you a 10% discount code, and a free pack of 3 ply toilet roll!

We only ask you to wipe your bums, not the smiles off our faces…

Michelle Lewis

Why did the baker have brown hands?

Because he kneaded a poo!

Colin Wilson

Why was Eeyore down the toilet?
Because he was looking for Pooh!

Ruby Bailey

My friend has decided to rename his toilet “Jim” instead of “John”.

When I asked him why, he told me that “It sounds much better when I tell people that I go to the Jim every day.”

Vanessa Cook

I ingested a load of Scrabble tiles by mistake…
Now I’m worried that my next trip to the toilet will spell disaster!

Jonty Woods

Why doesn’t a pterodactyl make any noise when it goes to the toilet?

Because the P is silent.

Richie Headman

In Star Trek, what did the toilet in the Enterprise space ship have inside it?

The captain’s log.

Adam Shelley

What happens when sweet cheeks toilet paper crosses the road?
It gets stuck in the crack…

Hayleigh Campbell

What do you call a dog in your toilet?

A poodle.

Judy Heath

Why are romantic relationships a lot like Indian food?

They always start out hot and spicy, but end up with someone on the toilet crying and asking “Why me?”

Wayne Reeder

What did the mother say to her little boy when he missed the toilet while peeing?

“Urine trouble, young man!”

Summer Pearce

There are two reasons you shouldn’t drink from the toilet: number 1, and number 2…

John Colehill

Did you hear about the film ‘Constipated’?
It never came out!